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A figment of my imagination

We all have a voice inside of us that drives our fear and negativity.  It’s the internal judgement that’s been with us most of our lives.

In some circles this destructive little whisper is known as our “gremlin.”In the book, Taming your Gremlin by Rick Carson, he refers to it in masculine terms and describes how it manipulates our thoughts more specifically:

“He uses some of your past experiences to hypnotize you into forming and living your life in accordance with self-limiting and sometimes frightening generalizations about you and what existence holds for you. He wants you to feel bad.”

Can you imagine the visual of this guy in your mind? Mine is green for some reason, don’t ask me why. He’s a big burly dude, with a smirk on his face,  lurking in the background and orchestrating the negative thoughts in my head. He’s the one who keeps me up at night with worry when I’m feeling overwhelmed or insecure, pushing me into a corner of fear, causing me to doubt my ability to do just about anything.

Am I going to have enough time tomorrow to fit it all in? Did I overcommit? What did she really mean by that? There is no way I can actually do that!

It goes on and on, until the light of my alarm clock snaps me back into reality, leaving me longing to coax back the precious hours of sleep I just lost in my web of self doubt and anxiety.

Once I see him in my mind, it’s so much easier to stop him in his tracks and start observing what’s happening in the moment without judgement. I just think, Ah ok, here he is again, just trying to cause trouble in the wee hours of the night, when my defenses are down.

Being in this place of objectivity neutralizes my thoughts and I can look at them far more rationally. Knowing that its my mind just playing tricks on me, the anxiety leaves as quickly as it came.

Recognizing this nasty little bugger’s existence is half the battle and once I finally had his number, I was able to see him for what he really is.

Merely a figment of my imagination.

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